Friday, September 3, 2010

Fiction Friday - Peeping Albert

I'm trying something new this Friday. I found a link to a blog called Write Anything, which hosts a fiction friday prompt. This week, the prompt was to read Dog Gone and then write a story where Albert is killed.

Since I write Young Adult, I thought this would be hard, but after re-reading the original a few times, an idea came to me. Just a warning, my story is a little dark (it IS about a murder after all), so if you're squeamish, stay clear!

Peeping Albert

Smack! Stella tosses another egg and it hits one of Albert’s windows. There is something gratifying about pelting his house with things that spatter. Everyone knows that Albert is the resident grumpy old man, but Stella’s creep alarm blares whenever she’s near him.

After a good laugh, Stella and her friend Adam head home, thinking of a way to retrieve the disc they know is waiting in Albert’s mailbox.

When night washes over Albert’s cul de sac, Stella and Adam set their plan in motion. They both know it means lots of trouble if they can’t get the disc. Adam runs interference on one of the far away cameras while Stella bolts up the walkway to get the envelope out of the mailbox. Success!

“I’ll get rid of the disc later tonight.” Stella tells Adam. Adam nods and waves before disappearing into the night.

Stella sets the disc on her desk with every intention to trash it, but curiosity gets the best of her. She pops it into her laptop to see what else Albert has caught the good citizens of Greenbriar doing.

The first file is video of her and Adam throwing eggs at the house, but Albert must have used an old disc because there are other files on it. She clicks on one. It’s a video cut together of Stella’s mom. Shot after shot of her changing in her bedroom window. The whole video clocked in at 15 minutes long, but Stella didn’t need to see more than a minute.

There is one more file on the disc. Against her better judgment, Stella opens it. Another video. This one is even more grotesque. It’s a montage of video from the playground, and the star is her sister Izzy. This is disgusting, Stella thinks, men like Albert shouldn’t exist. For her mom’s safety. For Izzy’s safety.

It didn’t take Stella long to concoct a cocktail that would get rid of Albert - a few or ten ground up sleeping pills and some Percocet for good measure. Now she just had to get him to take it.

Stella sits in the living room the next day and watches Albert’s house like a hawk. First, Linda, Albert’s wife, pulls her car out of the driveway. Albert’s car follows soon afterwards. Stella sees this as her time to strike.

Camouflaged in dark clothes, Stella stalks over to Albert’s house. He never mentioned the stolen disc to her mom, so she takes the same path, assuming there are no cameras to catch her. Stella’s years hanging around Adam finally pay off when she is able to pick the lock to Albert’s house.
She sees the almost empty vodka bottle sitting next to Albert’s surveillance station, and peppers in the ground up pills. Stella shakes the bottle, grinning as the particles dissolve into the liquid.

Days go by and Stella doesn’t see Albert. Finally, her mom relays the story. Albert was found dead two nights ago. “Apparently,” says Stella’s mom, “he overdosed on sleeping pills and vodka after he found his wife cheating on him with Mr. Torrisis.”


  1. Not too bad!
    Go post the link to this story on the Fiction Friday page.

  2. Welcome to Fiction Friday! I liked the way you connected the characters the way you did. Interesting take on it. Nicely done!

  3. Your story flowed beautifully right up the last sentence! I hope to read more in the future.

  4. A belated welcome to Fiction Friday! You did a good job of making Albert even more despicible than he was in the original piece. Your teen characters are quite hard to be able to concoct such a perfectly executed murder. I am glad I don't live in your neighbourhood.

  5. Welcome Melissa! I think I would have liked more insight into Stella's decision, it's not an easy one to make for a teenager! Your writing did flow nicely and pull me in. Hope to see you again on Friday!